2010 Goals: Be a fast runner (1h50) in half-Ironmans
Feel like an accomplished athlete

Is it OK to say that 2009 was a disaster? Disasters, at least for athletes or people with athletic goals, are defined as unexpected differences between expectations and performance. I expected to do so much better - I had the experience, the equipment, the strategy - so what in the world was happening to me? In trying to answer that question and as the answer itself became clear, I started to be aware to what little degree we have any understanding of ourselves and the thousands of factors and little tendencies that push or pull us into action. Talk about frustration! And, at the same time, opportunity: if we do know ourselves so little, who knows what we might find when we do a little digging? I’m starting this year much more humbled than I was at the start of 2009; my goals are set back a bit (no talk of Ironman this year). But I’ve gone deeper into the concept that the capabilities that I’ll discover within myself are being shaped as I head toward them. In other words, I’m deciding what I’ll find before I find it, which reminds me of the question I asked myself in 2009, “Why do so many settle for so little?”

Week of December 27

Thursday         The annual New Year’s eve run. If this run is a portent of things to come, then 2010 is going to be one awesome year. My sweetie and I are in Saint-Faustin again, staying in a sweet little chalet. The temperature is reasonable for our run, and we’ve decided to head off in the opposite direction from last year’s route, hoping to find flatter ground. We end up taking the public road that runs through the resort. It’s snowing very, very lightly and the sky is overcast, which means that everything that’s snow-covered is glowing softly. I remark to my sweetie that it feels eerie to be running through this, almost as if we’re running on a moonscape. The road we’re on is a small public gravel road that winds through two low mountains and goes by a lake. It’s not very wide, there’s no traffic, nor are there any street lamps. We’re on our own, running quickly since I seem to have a lot of energy tonight. My last run in Beloeil on Sunday has inspired me, the idea of seeing your fear, defining it, before being able to overcome it. That was the piece that eluded me all year ever. We go by the clubhouse on the resort ground; I listen to my feet on the ground and, as we head out of the resort and into the woods, I reach out to the landscape around me. My left hamstring complains a little as we climb the first hill. We eventually turn around when we reach a lake, and by then I’m really antsy to just run fast. Going downhill doesn’t help, oddly enough: even though I have my YackTrax on my running shoes, I’m still a bit hesitant to go down fast on ice. But when we reach the bottom I loosen up and go. 50min

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Week of January 10

Friday This morning I come close to calling in to work and telling people I'll be late. The weather is really warm and as I'm getting ready I get a whiff of that spring-is-in-the-air smell. It's above 0 Celsius and everything is melting. But I hold off and instead I wait until late in the afternoon. I do the Gatineau loop, which is always pretty much snow-free since it goes through downtown. By the time I'm going down the hill past the Supreme Court and crossing Portage Bridge I'm regretting my decision to do such a long run. My legs are tired and my hip flexors hate me. I'm a little disgruntled at all the people walking four or five across on the sidewalk. By the time I've crossed Alexandra Bridge and I'm huffing back along Sussex I'm also arguing with my very sore hip flexors. Then my left hamstring starts acting up. I'm having a hard time I thought this problem was over...1h20

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Week of January 17

Tuesday         The warm weather continues. It's actually hovering just at the freezing mark this evening, so I watch my step when I'm running and avoid any ice. I baked a lot last Sunday - stew, lasagna, cheesecake - and had some leftovers for supper. I feel like I'm running with a cement block in my stomach and I have to deal with a bad stitch for the entire run. My sweetie and I start out together and the pace is a bit too fast for me, at least if I'm planning on doing the Gatineau loop. My sweetie turns back after 3km while I keep going. My hamstring had really hurt after the last run so tonight I'm wary, particularly going up the inclines in front of the US embassy and Parliament hill. And I feel stiff. Yeah, there's a lot of whining going on throughout this run. After crossing Alexandra I'm feeling way too tired to take Sussex back home, so I head straight down St Patrick. It doesn't shave a lot of time off the route, but tonight every minute counts. 1h15

Friday         I'm starting to like Friday evening runs after work. Unlike most people, I don't feel exhausted at the end of the workweek, but I do want to be alone. Ever since university, Friday night has always been a very quiet time for me, usually spent at the gym or writing in my journal. This time for running is very good. My legs don't quite agree; they're stiff and heavy, particularly after a hard session on the bike trainer last night. I shorten my run to under an hour since I don't want my hamstring to flare up. I go down Mackay to Sussex, then along Sussex until the National Art Gallery, and turn back. Nothing fancy, just a simple run with the delightful Johnny Clegg singing in my head. 55min

Saturday         Running in daylight in winter is always such a treat. And it's not just daylight running today, it's sunny daylight running, the best kind! Even though yesterday I promised myself that I'd be staying away from hills for a while so that my hamstring could recover, I decide to run in Rockcliffe today since it's rare that I get the opportunity to do so in winter. Interestingly, my hamstring doesn't bother me at all today. I'm starting to wonder if maybe the bike is causing the pain. I go up Acacia and around Crescent, along Sandridge to Birch. There are so many people out walking today. Even though my legs are stiff, I like how things feel. I especially like that when I compare this run and these legs to how everything felt and worked a year ago I realise that this year is a heck of a lot better. I'm stronger, lighter on my feet, and have tons more endurance. I go back up Acacia then head for home, picking up the pace and racing the last ten minutes. Woohoo! 1h20

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Week of January 24

Saturday         Ok, before anyone says anything about the week-long absence, it's been cold here in Ottawa, and as everyone knows, I hate the cold. And I was on the treadmill yesterday. Tonight I'm trying out a new pair of running tights I bought Friday, ending a three year search to replace the fabulous North Face running tights I had bought in Fredericton in....1999? These tights now have holes and are threadbare around the knees, but I just could never find anything that came close to them. Friday at The Running Room I found not one but two winter running tights, and tonight I'm running with the thicker pair.

Good thing too. Although the temperature isn't all that cold, there's a strong headwind along Sussex as I make my way downtown. It's late Sunday evening; I don't see anyone for almost the entire run. It's nice to treat my eyes to something other than a computer screen. It's also nice to be able to run easily, although I keep it slow since I'm doing the Gatineau loop. One effect of spending time behind the computer is that I find myself unable to concentrate for very long, or to be able to split into a state of quiet reflection during my run. Every once in a while, half of my brain is telling the other half to shut up. This isn't anywhere close to the meditative trance that really good runners always seem to be talking about. 1h20min

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Week of February 14

Monday         Yes, I'm still running...off my feet! My sweetie and I are engaged and getting married on June 26th this year here in Ottawa! It's only going to be a small ceremony and family-only supper afterward, but that doesn't seem to make the planning any easier or less onerous. I've been out for two runs in the past week. I've got a funny feeling I'll be out a lot more often and a lot longer as I get anxious about fitting into a wedding dress.

Tonight my sweetie and I go for a rare run together. It's the only way I can think of squeezing in time to update each other on wedding plans. It's relatively warm out, so I wear the second of the two pairs of running tights I bought at Running Room a few weeks ago. They're even more incredible than the first pair. I can't believe that after years of searching for winter running tights and being disappointed, I've found not one but two pairs that are so great. We run down Mackay, which we now do on a regular basis just to see the church where we're getting married ( St. Bartholomew's ). Then we turn west on Sussex and trot up to the National Gallery. My right Achilles tendon is bothering me a little at the start of the run. When it disappears and we're running back toward home, my stomach starts to bother me. But at the 34 minute mark I suddenly feeled warmed up and ready to really run. I'm listening to fiddle music in my head, inspired by Ashley MacIsaac's fantastic performance in the otherwise slow and rather dull Vancouver Olympics opening ceremonies. Thumbs up to organisers for having the guts to put him on stage; it paid off. I can't find a clip of his performance online, but here's the original video for the song he played, The Devil in the Kitchen. 50min.

Saturday         It's so warm and spring-like these days, and today in particular, that Burt the cat has taken to howling at the back door insisting that the time of the year has come to let him out. I don't let him out in winter, but the scent of spring is creeping in and Burt insists that it's already April. It's been a great winter for running, and I enjoy the snow-free roads and the fact that I can run through Rockcliffe. I go up Acacia and do my usual long-run route through the village: left on Crescent, down Buena Vista, left on Hillsdale over to Sandridge, around a bit until it's time to go up Birch and loop back. It's a fairly hilly run and I'm not moving very fast today. I'm seem to be unusually stiff and unable to relax.

I remember the few runs around Christmas when I was really moving. It was a matter of deciding what my body could do, and I don't seem to have the energy to go through that process today. It makes me think of the all the debate around the Canadian teams' performances at the Olympics. People are disappointed in how we're doing since expectations have been set quite high for the past four years. Unfortunately, the Americans are having a really great time at the Olympics and are cleaning up the medals. They certainly deserve them, and I hope Canadian disappointment doesn't turn into bitterness toward American success. When it comes to sports, no one works harder or aims higher than an American. Canada can't really expect spectacular performances from its athletes while at the same time saddling them with a culture of conformity and consent. 1h15

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Week of February 21

Monday         The weather forecast seems to be saying that this will be the last day without rain, snow, or wind for a while, so I'm out enjoying the bare pavement tonight. I'm surprised that my legs feel so good after four days in a row of long workouts. I keep my steps very short and tense since I'm planning on doing the Gatineau loop and I don't want to find myself halfway around and struggling. It's nice and quiet running down Mackay, then along Sussex toward Parliament Hill. I pass a cab driver in his idling car in front of DFAIT; he's on his laptop. Up the long hill to Parliament where someone has a camera set up on a tripod to take a photo of the buildings. I stop to let him take the photo. "You can keep going", the guy snarls, "The camera is motion sensitive and doesn't like you." Alrighty.

Down toward Portage Bridge. I recover on the downhill and speed up quite a bit. The best part is being able to maintain that speed as I cross Gatineau and head back into Ottawa on the Alexandra Bridge. Even the hills are easy tonight. I think it's because I've got one of those fluid, more ephemeral songs in my head, the kind that make it easy to zone out and run, Teardrop by Massive Attack. Unlike other songs, this one seems to be staying in my head. I trot by DFAIT again and the cabbie is still there, still on his laptop - a Macintosh, no less. 1h20

Saturday         The weather has been messy all week so I've been doing a lot of biking inside. My legs are quite exhausted today. I start my run and immediately set a 50 minute limit on today's run. I go up Acacia all the way to where it meets the Rockcliffe Parkway. The sidewalks along the parkway aren't plowed in winter, but so much snow has melted that there's enough room in the road to run over to Lisgar. When I turn onto Lisgar I see a small road on the left, one that - inexplicably - I've never seen before even though I've run by here so many times. It's a narrow dirt road and I wonder if it's the same dirt road I once discovered running at the very top of Rockcliffe. I start up and stop by an RCMP car to ask if I'm on private property. "Not if you're just running" says the officer. It's a delight to be able to run on something like this in a city, and I find out that the road is indeed the same one that I found sometime last year. I wander around the area, going back down to Lisgar, up to Manor Avenue, and eventually back to Acacia and home at a fairly strong pace. 50min

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Week of February 28

Sunday         It's a warm, spring-like Sunday afternoon, but the streets are completely deserted when I start my run. The atmosphere is eery: even the wind is silent. I run down the middle of Marier, one of the busiest streets in the neighbourhood, and have the entire stretch to myself. I go up Acacia and feel like I'm the only person in the city. It's the afternoon of the most anticipated hockey game in Canadian history, the Olympic gold medal game between Canada and the US.

I must admit that even though I'm not a hockey fan, I'd love to be watching this game. But I think I've made a good decision going for a run. The weather is so warm that it feels like April; even the sun is shining. The wind is calm. The streets are deserted. It's a bit of running heaven. I'm hoping to do a longer run today to take advantage of the great conditions. I start with lots of hills in Rockcliffe, which is probably not the smartest thing to do. Up Acacia, down Crescent and loop around Cloverdale and Landsdowne, both of which have wicked hills. Up Buena Vista, another hill. One older man is walking on the opposite side of the road and I hear him yell to an oncoming cyclist, "Do you know what the score is?" The kid doesn't. I start the long downhill to Lisgar and get on to Sussex. Just before getting to the National Arts Gallery, I figure I'll try doing the Gatineau loop in reverse.

I discover that the Gatineau loop in reverse is almost an order of magnitude harder than the regular Gatineau loop. And I've already got 40 minutes of hill running done with already tired legs. Crossing Alexandra Bridge is a bit slow, and I get discouraged when I discover that the stretch in Gatineau is a very slight uphill. Cross Portage and the real work begins: a long - at least one kilometre - hill that goes from the middle of the bridge all the way to Parliament Hill and, I swear, gets steeper as it goes. By the time I get to the top I'm barely moving and my legs are threatening to go on strike. It's a long, slow run back home. 1h50min

Monday         My sweetie and I do the first part of this evening's run together. Around 3pm at work I was hit by spring fever: the temperature had climbed to 7 Celsius and the sun was shining. I could barely concentrate. As soon as the sun set the temperature dropped quickly. We ran down Mackay and onto Sussex, and just after DFAIT I was on my own. For a brief moment as I went by the National Arts Gallery and the turn onto the Alexandra Bridge I considered doing the Gatineau loop in reverse. Uh, maybe another day. But by the time I was over in Gatineau my hamstrings were starting to feel very tender, changing my stride so that I was almost tip-toeing to relieve the impact on them. Time to get back to yoga. 1h20

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Last updated on March 3 2010 by Helen Rooney